My ode to Jeff Foxworthy:

You might be a Mormon if you think Scientology is a stupid ass religious cult but your religion is perfectly sane and reasonable.

Your might be a Mormon if you think DNA evidence, archaeology, and scientific understanding confirms the Book of Mormon narrative.

You might be a Mormon if you applauded the excommunication of Kate Kelly because she wanted equal rights for women yet think the Church honors women.

You might be a Mormon if you drive by a Starbucks and see evil people inside buying coffee.

You might be a Mormon if you think God is a blue eyed, white male, dressed in a business suit who has multiple wives, and votes Republican.

You might be a Mormon if you use your cell phone and think, “This is just like a seer stone.”

You might be a Mormon if you think young men who pass the sacrament offend God if they are not wearing a white shirt and tie.

You might be a Mormon if your friend sees a photo of a tapir and says, “Look a Book of Mormon horse,” and you don’t get  the humor.

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You might be a Mormon if you think it is alright for Church leaders to exclude children of LGBT people but think the Church is family friendly.

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You might be Mormon if you think white is a sign of divine favor.

2 Nephi 5:21 And he had caused the cursing to come upon them, yea, even a sore cursing, because of their iniquity. For behold, they had hardened their hearts against him, that they had become like unto a flint; wherefore, as they were white, and exceedingly fair and delightsome, that they might not be enticing unto my people the Lord God did cause a skin of blackness to come upon them.

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You might be a Mormon if you think bloggers who disagree with the Church are anti Mormon devils.

 

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You might be a Mormon if you think that once the Prophet has spoken, the thinking has been done.

You might be a Mormon if you reject science that causes cognitive dissonance.

Conference Report, April 1953, Afternoon Meeting, p.124

“Adam was the son of God. He was our elder brother, not older than Jesus but he was our brother in the same sense that Jesus was our brother, and he “fell” to earth life. He did not come up through an unbroken line of organic evolution. There had to be a fall. “Adam fell that men might be.”Marion G. Romney

You might be a Mormon if you think it was normal for men in the days of Joseph Smith to marry 14 year old girls.

You might be a Mormon if you think dressing up in your Sunday best and attending the Temple makes the world a better place.

You might be a Mormon if you think Prophets give us revelation but can’t name a real one since whenever!

You might be a Mormon………………..

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